Saturday, March 5, 2011

Spinster? Really?

This is not a rant on single-dom.  Far from it.  But, you may have to read the entire thing to find that out...

Last week, while reading the paper, I stumbled across this article.

On one hand, the author describes Jennifer Aniston (and the masses of single women like her) as empowered and powerful - "...loud and proud in singlehood".  Yet in the next breath (in fact, much of the rest of the article), single women are described with pity, sadness even - "sucker punch to the lovelorn heart of the average single woman".  These women are described as part of "Spinsterhood 2.0".

For the record, I would be one of those single women.  Also for the record, I am not lovelorn, sad, desperately searching for love, nor (hopefully) pathetic.

And so just as I got to the end of this piece, and feeling slightly put off with the perspective I was receiving, the author threw in this paragraph:

"If Jennifer Aniston can't seal the deal, maybe that's proof that there
really isn't someone for everyone, that love -at least the kind of love
that we are programmed to spend our lives looking for -isn't everything."

I don't know about being "programmed", but I would agree that the kind of love many of people - men as well, though I've noticed this with women particularly - spend much of their lives waiting, hoping & searching for includes a relationship, a partner.  And while these relationships are no doubt incredibly valuable and important, profound and deeply meaningful even, they can not possibly be the only kind of love that matters.

While I do intend to marry one day, when the time is right and I've met someone with whom I could live forever, I find my right now every day filled with other kinds of love - friends, family, and important and valuable people who surround.  It is this love that gives me a sense of purpose, of fulfillment.  And while I can believe that the kind of partnership and love found in a spouse is deep, wide and beyond my wildest expectations, I wouldn't give up the love and relationships I have right now for anything.

See?  Not a rant - instead, let's call it a passionate plea to celebrate the many kinds of love each of us enjoys.

But really... spinster?  Even if it is describing Jennifer Aniston... can we please find a better word for people who are living lives filled with love and happiness?

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